I just wanted to introduce myself since I'm not sure anyone but
My name's Dana, and I joined this community because I really want to make an effort to improve my health and my relationship with food.
I was anorexic for about a year and a half starting from the time I was about 11, and it was a bad time for me because not only was I starving myself and pushing my body to hold up during 3 or 4 sessions of gymnastics every week, but it was when I developed a warped attitude towards food. It makes me ill to think that I was counting calories and fat grams at 11 years old, it really does. Fortunately I didn't have to go to the hospital, even though my parents threatened me with it--I just literally woke up one morning sick and tired of avoiding and obsessing about food. So I quit gymnastics and got back to a normal weight, and everything seemed cool even though my eating habits still weren't that great--for example, I refused to eat most vegetables and to try new things--but at least food was no longer the focus of my life so I was happy. Then, about two years ago, all of the negative feelings about food sort of came back. The scariest thing is that I don't know why. But all of a sudden, I started obsessing about food again--counting calories, restricting what I could eat and what I couldn't, avoiding "bad" foods, fantasizing about food while I was at work or at school, being terrified of gaining weight, feeling guilty for eating something I "shouldn't" have, etc. It's a real drag when all you can think about is food, but even worse is that whenever my friends want to go out to restaurants I usually avoid going or if I do go, I don't eat. I feel like this is really impacting my life, because I know that I could be so much more productive if I wasn't thinking about food so much.
I'm not sure why all this is going on...maybe it's because I grew up hearing my family make derogatory comments about overweight people, or maybe it's because I'm a perfectionist. I don't know. But I do know that I want to change it, because I know I'll be much happier. Actually admitting that this is a problem for me has been really therapeutic, because I've never discussed this with anyone. I've told people about the anorexia thing in the past, but this is the first time I have acknowledged that this is still something I struggle with. When
And here are my lists:
1) Develop a better attitude towards food
2) Eat a bigger variety of foods (yes, the dreaded vegetables!)
3) Try new dishes often, even if they have unfamiliar ingredients
4) Get more aerobic exercise
5) Focus on all the positive things in my life
6) Cut back on the drinking
1) Obsession with calories, "bad" foods, etc.
2) Not much $$$ with which to buy said bigger variety of foods (at least for right now!)
3) I have a hard time bringing myself to eat things like green vegetables
4) Motivation...I'll do my crunches, but it's so hot outside I have no desire whatsoever to go for a power walk
5) I worry constantly about *everything*, and I get angry/annoyed at little things so it's easier to focus on the things that are going wrong rather than the things that are going right
6) Boyfriend plays music in bars, so I'm usually in bars around three times a week, and when everyone else is drinking, it's hard to say no! And I feel like I have more fun when I'm drunk...well, until the next day, at least...